A rough week

This week has seen its share of grief...

I would like honor a man who has been an important person in my life since coming to Thailand. My PiPi (older brother) Nink, passed away suddenly yesterday from complications with a viral infection.  He was a Fulbright employee who was charged with looking after me and Amanda in Ubon, and he always made us feel so special and cared for even though he was such a busy man.  He had such a positive energy and good heart---P'Nink, I hope to honor your memory by striving to be a better cultural ambassador, teacher and person. Thank you for being there for my first day of school.

It has been so interesting to see how Thai people deal with death.  Emotions are expressed differently here; sadness and anger are not shown as openly and freely.  A little different than the American flow.  When my Fulbright friend called me in the morning and told me the bad news, I was at school in my office. I tried to hide the tears that kept coming, but when I told my host teacher what happened they came unexpectedly again.  When the other Fulbrighter Amanda came to my school that day, we just dropped everything smack in the middle of the English office right when we saw each other and hugged and silently wept.  I don't know what everyone was thinking, but it was how we felt and exactly how we needed to process. I have been thinking about the situation afterwards, and I realized that hey---it is good that I am expressing my feelings genuinely because that is the only way true cultural exchange can happen.  I did not come here to transform myself completely into a Thai person and that is okay. The Thai teachers who found out expressed their concern by becoming very serious, and I can tell from their eyes that they understand. They get it. They understand pain. They just don't let the world know like I do.

The second shocking experience happened last night. A student teacher friend at my school took me out to a country club to listen to music and we were out late.  As we were arriving back at school, we saw something big in the road that we couldn't quite make out.  To my horror, it was an overturned motorcycle and a crying girl holding her face.  I was so shocked and I went into emergency mode to go try to help, but was told I should just wait for the police.  When the police came, he was all smiles and laughing, chatting with the other people who had gathered around the poor girl (still on the ground sobbing and obviously in pain) and just flicking his flashlight to warn oncoming traffic.  I understood that they could really do nothing until the ambulance came, but the feeling of nonchalance that surrounded the whole incident really surprised me.  I'm still trying to figure out all the nuances of behavior and life here, and there may be some things that I just plainly will never understand.

Although a few aspects of culture here don't still well with me, the way people treat me has been such an amazing example of hospitality.  Warinchamrap's teachers are truly so kind. People always describe Isaan people as extremely friendly and they have been proven right.  Everyday I am greeted with smiles, little hand-holds (yes that's right), endless amounts of snacks pushed on me and an effort to communicate with me, usually in the lovely Thinglish mix that fills my days here and maybe even a nice rear-end pat from an old Thai lady if I'm lucky!  We chat about the weather, students, food and share pictures and laughter.  Sometimes I look at my life and I am amazed that I am consistently surrounded by people with whom I have a language barrier, and yet I have been able to form real relationships and I am never lacking people to spend my time with.


Ok, a few exciting updates:


Fun fact: While surfing the internet today, I learned that I am precisely the average height of Thai males. Bha. I also will warn anyone going to live in an Asian country, that if you are taller than 5'3'' and weigh more than 100 lbs, you might feel like an awkward giant sometimes. It happens.

The lovely teacher P'Sung (a slender, older woman who has the kindest face) has graciously volunteered to teach me Thai reading and writing!  So far I have learned an assortment of vowels and consonants, and have recently mastered the progression of the 5 tones.  I go to her classroom once or twice a week and we Thinglish and cover the whiteboard in Thai script. A lot of the time I just pretend to understand her because I like her so much and I just want to spend time with her :)

But oh learning Thai!!!! Those damned five tones.  Have you ever tried to learn a tonal language my friends? It is one thing to study a language where if you read the word as written, you are saying it correctly and can be understand. It is a whole other ball-game when you can learn the word a thousand times and STILL not say it correctly. And trust me, I know when I am not saying it correctly because my students either "Kru Siri, mai kao jai" (don't understand) or we all laugh and spend precious class time correcting my pronunciation. A simple word 'maa' can mean come, mother, dog or horse depending on the way you say it. Oh vey. I'm sure I've said some interesting things in my three and a half months!

Next weekend I am traveling to a neighboring province to visit Thong, the 17 year-old boy my family sponsors! He lives at an organization called Grace Ministries that welcomes and cares for children who are poor and at risk of sexual exploitation...I am beyond excited to meet him!  How rare is it that I can take a little weekend jaunt to visit the boy in the photo that has been on our refrigerator for years? And I can chat with him in Thai a bit! I am so interested to see what he is really like and what his life looks like. Also, Fulbright gives us the month of March to have an internship of our choosing anywhere in Thailand because school is out for the summer months---I am hoping that I can spend my month with Grace, helping out in any capacity.

My Laotian outfit!

Overall, this week has been pretty challenging emotionally, but also filled with some really redeeming and beautiful moments: the old Thai man who volunteered to be my chiropractor when he was giving me a Thai massage and felt my messed up back and the fact that he thinks 'God sent me to him'. Driving on my motorcycle along the Moon River with my friend Portia on the back and the wind in our hair.  Dancing like a crazy 'farang' at the country club, when none of the Thai patrons are dancing.  Being called up in front of my entire school, made to repeat some complex Thai phrases, butchering them horribly and the entire place erupting in laughter.  Having a new hero, a young overweight female student who participated in the assembly's dance contest with such pure, utter abandon, joy and complete disregard of the Thai 'saving face' culture that I had to give her a standing ovation. Having students' faces light up when they see me. Any miniscule attempt to speak English with me. So many little things here make comprise a beautiful life and such an enriching experience.  These are the things that I hold onto when times get a little rough.